there's so much sun where I'm from

I can sit back and look at myself and realize what I'm doing wrong. and why I do the things I do. and how lately I've given in and become more self-destructive than usual because I do nothing that satisfies me. I know what a release is. my automatic reaction is now constant, instead of not so much. I don't care. I can see all of this. No one would get what I mean.

Sometimes i miss the times when drugs clouded my head and everyday blended together.

i expect too much.